Ending Your Relationship – How To End Your Relationship
Posted on
December 29th, 2008 by
Advisor
How does one end a relationship without causing hurt to their partner. The truth is, there will be hurt in any situation involving ending a relationship even when the love has disappeared from it.
In most cases, the best thing for people to do in a loveless marriage is to simply move on but there are barriers which prevent them from doing this. Here is a shortlist:
- neither party wants to be seen as the initiator in ending the relationship so quite often they are simply left to drag on aimlessly
- in many instances there are children involved and this is a huge barrier to overcome as parents put the kids needs ahead of their own
- facing up to family and friends after the break up is tough and embarrassing for many couple
Avoiding the hurt is most times unavoidable because there is always some type of back lash involved no matter how minor it is. But there are things you can do if the love is gone from your marriage or relationship. Let’s take a look at some of the ways to do this.
1. You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest.
2. Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.
3. Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.
4. Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.
5. Don’t take anything personally when ending your relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.
6. Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.
7. To change course, if you get cold feet and suddenly realize you don’t want to end it then can you save your relationship? That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.
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