Love Sex Marriage Family

Once the vows have been exchanged and all the flasks you chose for cheap groomsmen gifts have been given away, you begin the honeymoon phase. And face it – you will both act extra-nice during the first few months of marriage. The two of you would go out of our way to make the other person feel special. As lovely as this honeymoon phase may be, it cannot last forever. Here are some of the signs that can clue you in your marriage has progressed from honeymoon to “Honey, go sleep in the other room.”

1. Before, you had cutesy nicknames for each other. Sweetcheeks, honeybun, cuppycake, gumdrops, snoogums-boogums – you name it, you called each other it. Today, only one nickname is in use 24/7, and it’s “Hey, you!” Ten years into the marriage, you can expect each other to drop the “you.”

2. Before, he would give you roses. Today, he only gives you his pay slip.

3. Before, she would greet you with a hug and a kiss every time you come home. Today, she greets you with the plunger and tells you to do something about the toys little Tim tried to flush down the toilet.

4. Before, he would ask, “Is there anything I can help you with?” Today, he only says, “What is it this time?”

5. Before, she would never do without sexy lingerie. Today, she buys granny panties by the dozen.

6. Before, he would thoughtfully put his dirty clothes into the hamper. Today, he leaves his dirty underwear on the doorknob.

7. Before, she would always spritz on her sexiest perfume while expecting your arrival. Today, you’d know the kids behaved themselves if she found the time to take a bath.

8. Before, she would want you to make love to her all night. Today, she hopes you’ll stay in the office and do overtime.

9. Before, he would make love to you every night. Today, he waits for the weekend.

10. Before, he would regularly surprise you with presents. Today, he only surprises you with his flatulence.

If the items on this list ring a bell, congratulations! You have now joined the rest of the married world. You are now experiencing real-life couplehood. You are now finally being yourself. Isn’t that what the two of you want in the first place? To just be yourselves? So, there’s no need to romance that stainless steel flask and drink your way through your marriage. Marriage has its ups, downs, and joint tax returns. Here’s to you and your spouse and many more years of marital bliss!

Share This