How To Inject Excitement Back Into Your Dull Marriage

Posted on timeJanuary 16th, 2010 by userAdvisor


Even the best marriages occasionally, suffer from a dull period. If you and your spouse have hit a dry period and you are considering serious measures, it is important for you to consider your options. Instead of assuming you know what your spouse is thinking, make the commitment to one another to work through your problems. Granted, things may not work out as you hope, but before walking away from a marriage, it is important to feel as if both of you have done all you can to save your relationship. If it seems as if you and your spouse are not able to conquer the problems that exist on your own, and it is time to call on a counselor. Those living in the Southwest have the option of speaking to Scottsdale therapists or seeking Phoenix counseling. There may also be options closer to your hometown. Regardless of the location of your marriage counselor, there are tools couples can utilize if they are dedicated to their marriage. Initially, you may feel hopeless, but if two people want the same things, there is a good chance you can make it work.

The first step to committing to a good marriage is to agree to be honest with each other. This may be what brought you to this crossroads. There are rare couples who are able to share and be open enough with one another that each knows what to expect. Occasionally, the spark fades from the relationship, and it is the acknowledgment by one member of the couple that alerts the other to a problem. If your spouse opens up to you about how they are feeling, it can be tough to stay calm. Initially, try to remember is to be thankful for their honesty, even though it causes you pain. The next thing is to not overreact. Just because he or she tells you they feel as if the spark is gone does not mean the relationship is over. Before ruining the marriage your spouse respected you enough to come to you first. Chances are, if your spouse has been feeling the relationship is lacking something it once had, you may have the same concerns. The next step for the two of you is to try to recapture that early relationship feeling. Go away alone together. It could be a matter of being caught up in everyday life. Have a relative watch your children for the weekend and spend a romantic weekend at home or away. It may be possible to recapture your initial spark, but it will take work.

If it turns out your spouse has opted to see someone else, it is still important to remain calm. You have two choices at this point in your relationship. You can either end it immediately, or you can agree to hear their side and decide if you want to work through the problem. Once your spouse has gone behind your back and done something, there are problems with trust. In addition to rebuilding, you are also going to have to rebuild trust and intimacy. It is important to realize how fragile the relationship is and you may need the help of a professional.

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