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Although traditionally a man would surprise his girlfriend with a tungsten engagement ring, shopping for engagement rings together has become commonplace and offers many benefits over the “old-fashioned” way of doing things. For many centuries, men have offered their prospective bride an engagement ring when proposing marriage. The tradition goes back so many centuries that historians cannot even be sure where or when it began. One thing is for certain though; the engagement ring tradition is just as important a part of marriage today as it was hundreds of years ago. But more and more these days, women are comfortable being part of the process. Gone all are the days of chivalry when the man would seek to “bribe” a woman into being his wife with an expensive ring. These days, women have their own money, their own taste, and expect to be involved throughout the courtship and engagement process.

As a result of this, more couples are now shopping for tungsten engagement rings together, instead of the husband-to-be going out on his own, like the lone ranger. And in general, this is a very good thing. After all, why shouldn’t the woman be as much a part of this process as the man — or even more. If a woman is going to wear a ring on her finger for any length of time, then surely it should be one that she is comfortable with and fits her style. This last point is important because different women have very different tastes. Some would prefer white gold, and others would prefer yellow gold. Some expect to see a diamond on the engagement ring, and others are more comfortable with a simple gold or silver band. And if you consider the alternative, shopping for engagement rings together makes a lot of sense. Often, when a man goes to buy a ring on his own, he will end up very confused about what to buy, and which type of ring his girlfriend would prefer.

In these cases, men often resort to having a friend or family member go with them to be a “sounding board” when they shop for rings. But if you’re going to take a friend or family member along when shopping for engagement rings, doesn’t it make much more sense to simply take the woman you plan to spend the rest of your life with? After all, she is the one who must be happy wearing the tungsten diamond engagement ring; not your friends or family members. Once you’ve made the decision to shop for engagement rings as a couple, it is a good idea to discuss the price range you are comfortable with before you visit the jewelry stores. It doesn’t have to be a specific dollar amount limit, but both partners should at least be “on the same page” before the shopping begins. The worst-case scenario is that the woman may be completely blown away by a beautiful ring that is, unfortunately, way outside your price range. That is why it is critical that you sit down and discuss a general price range in advance — and agree to stick to it. Shopping for engagement rings doesn’t have to be stressful, as long as you discuss things thoroughly in advance and make your decision as a couple.

Will he wonder forever if she truly loves the ring or is just pretending so as not to hurt his feelings? Con: Sticking to a tight budget might be more challenging with the bride-to-be in tow. Some women can’t help but gravitate to the biggest, most fabulous engagement ring in the store! Saying no to her favorite is a really awkward position for a man to find himself in, and not the least bit romantic. On the other hand, splurging on a ring which is way out of his comfortable price range will not leave the man feeling so great, either. When the couple shops together, they can make an informed selection about how to best spend their money, especially if the engagement ring will be coming out of joint funds. This can be great if the man is comfortable discussing his wedding jewelry budget with his fiance. She can decide where she would most like to put the money; is is more important to her to have a platinum ring, or would white gold be okay if it meant a bigger diamond? Does she value intricate design work more or a big rock? When all goes according to plan, this type of joint decision making can ensure that both halves of the newly engaged couple are very happy with the engagement ring. It is up to each individual to decide if these practical concerns are worth losing the element of surprise at the moment of engagement.

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